Gratitude Post #2: My Students

As university faculty, I have the opportunity to meet a lot of students.  I admit that I have had my fair share of frustrating students, but overall, I feel very blessed to have had met so many wonderful and inspiring students.

• I love learning about my students' passion for their major, their future goals, and their future dreams.

• I love seeing them collaborate with other students, getting inspired and excited about a project.

• I love hearing news about getting a dream internship, an interview for a job, or a scholarship award!

• I love getting updates from students I taught in the past, seeing wedding photos, getting baby announcements, hearing about their travels, and so on.

I truly do appreciate all the wonderful students I have met throughout the last 12.5 years.

And since it's Thursday, here's a Throwback Thursday photo!

This is a photo from 6 years ago - the students standing near me (why I decided to sit on the floor, I have no idea.) are all grown up now!  Awww!

I am still amazed

(Warning:  Total mushiness ahead.  And I'm not saying our relationship is perfect.  Obviously, there are still things he does that drive me crazy and some days I'd like to smack him - figuratively, of course - but overall, more often than not, I find myself so grateful and blessed that my husband still loves me after all these years.)

Sixteen years ago, my husband and I got married after having dated for 6 years.  This means that this month marked 22 years of our being together.  We have been together a long time...and I still find it amazing how strong our relationship is.

Amazing.
                         Unbelievable.

Freakin' unreal.

Let's be honest.  In today's culture, it is more common to hear about divorce than married couples who have made it this long, especially if the relationship started between a preppy, sorority girl and a heavy-metal headbanger with piercings, both barely out of their teen years.

Dating for almost a year...

What the heck?

I know, it's crazy, right?  No one thought we would make it.  I admit that neither of us were even thinking that way.  Sure, I liked him.  Yes, I thought he was cute.  But to think forever?  Please!  Prior to my husband, my longest relationship had lasted days - okay, a few weeks - but I am not sure I can even call that a relationship.  I had some serious commitment issues, so I had never imagined marrying anyone, especially not someone who was so completely "not my type."  And before you think I was a cold-hearted b-word, let me share this little tidbit:  it was not something on his mind either.  In fact, early on, he actually point-blank said to me, "Don't take me too seriously."  He even wrote it on the Christmas card he sent me after we had been dating a couple months.  Clearly, we were just taking it day-by-day.

But you know what?  You just never know what life has in store....

Somewhere along the way, it happened: we fell in love.

For some reason, it worked - we worked - and I knew. I can't remember exactly when that was.  Maybe it was during one of my "distance makes the heart grow fonder" phases.  One summer I even went to Japan for 2.5 months.  Much to my surprise, I spent a good deal of money calling him once a week and crying on the phone, wailing about how much I missed him. (Good grief.  However did he put up with THAT?)  Gone were the days of my "game-playing" and acting like I didn't care that much - even when I had.  Instead, letters were sent almost every day.  Tears were shed as I counted down the days to go home and see him.  It's surprising I didn't scare the crap out of him right there, being all clingy and emotional. haha.

The difference for me was that we were able to be ourselves with one another - be stupid, be goofy, be honest.  Maybe that's just who he is, but for me, I had always seemed to have this persona I felt  I needed to be....until I was with him.  He accepted all my craziness: my only child tendencies; my desire to travel for weeks, sometimes months at a time; my habit of wanting to take a million photos, even indulging me when I took photos of us wearing silly eye masks or humongous 3-d glasses. (I'd share those two photos as well, but I think there *is* a limit to how much he'll accept now! haha.)

And now, here we are....22 years later, grown-ups (or so we fool people into believing we are) with careers, two kids, a mortgage, and bills.  And while some things have changed, some things feel exactly the same.  (cue sappy music)  Believe it or not (and sometimes I have a hard time believing it myself), I love this man as much as I did when I first fell in love with him - maybe even more. Okay, probably more.

I am still amazed....and so very grateful.

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*Note: I will be attempting to write more regularly.  My goal is to write at least once a week, about something for which I am grateful.

My Own Little Happiness Project

So, I'm reading The Happiness Project.  Truth be told, I'm not very far into the book, but it's sparked something in me.  The author writes about how she was on this quest to become more happy.  Honestly, she wasn't depressed or in the middle of some mid-life crisis.  In fact, she was already happy, but she wanted to learn how she could become more happy.

That's me.  I'm actually a pretty happy person - and a grateful one, at that.  I feel blessed for all that I have - a nice home, loving husband, wonderful (most of the time) kids, and a job I enjoy.  And now, in the midst of summer, I have more time to spend with my kids, more time to sleep, more time to do the things I love: go to summer camp, vacation with the kids, catch up on my TV shows, lounge by the pool, and so on.  It's a pretty awesome life.  No, it's not all roses and cupcakes:  Sometimes my husband annoys me, sometimes my kids drive me insane, and 99% of the time, I hate grading.  BUT...overall, I could not be more blessed.

So why read The Happiness Project?

I suppose part of me is always on the search to create a meaningful life.  In fact, I do teach a course entitled just that.  The other part of me just thought it sounded interesting and figured it would be a nice addition to the list of 25 books I plan to read this year.

I'm only on chapter one, which discusses how the author started clearing some of her clutter - visual and mental - and about her commandments.  There's a lot more to it than that, but the biggest thing I took out of it was this: "Does this make me happy?"

And so, the purging began.  "Does this dress make me happy?"  Out went things I had planned to sell on ebay.  "Am I going to actually do this craft thing?"  Out went things I thought I would one day use.  The hoarding/clutter does not make me feel happy.  I unburied things from my closet I forgot was there.  What in the world?  I'm nowhere close to done, but I can see the floor of my closet, so I think that's a pretty good start.

I gotta say.  It may seem silly to some, but man, seeing that cleared space made me happy.

Of course, I really only cracked the surface...but at least progress was made. And that, my friends, makes me happy.

The Downside of Reading: Getting Overly Attached to Characters

Over the course of the last month, I have read/listened to the entire Hunger Games trilogy.  The Hunger Games and Mockingjay were audiobooks, so I listened to "Katniss" tell me her story.  Catching Fire I read in less than 48 hours.

And now...now I feel like I've lost my friend because she no longer talks to me.

I know.  I'm losing it.  But think about it.  It was HOURS upon HOURS that I listened to Katniss talk about her troubles...about Peeta, about Gale, about Prim, about Rue, about her district, about Snow.  And now, now nothing. 

So, it makes me wonder.  How are she and Peeta getting along now?  What are her kids like?

Maybe I need to go on medication.  This is weird. 

To combat this withdrawal, my daughter and I watched The Hunger Games movie today.  And I cannot wait until the next movie, coming out in November. 

Until then, I'm off to find another character to obsess over.  I am currently reading two books at the same time now. 

Summer Dilemma

Before each summer, I start thinking about all the things I want to do with my kids: camps, trips, activities.  And at the end of every summer, I am bummed that we never got to do everything we had wanted.

So, this year I'm considering keeping the summer camps to the minimum and just planning day trips.  Considering I already have plans for a couple vacations and one week-long overnight camp, I must remember that there are only so many weeks in the summer!

I'm fortunate to live in the Bay Area - and there are so many interesting and exciting places to take my kids, places we have been but also places we have not.  Here's a short list of some of the places I'd like to take the kids this summer:

1. Dennis the Menace Park - Monterey

I took my son to this park years ago and he had a BLAST - an absolute blast.  The rolling slide is hilarious, good shaky fun.

There are bridges and tons of other slides, lots of space to roam....









2. Santa Cruz Beach 

It's a beach.  It's beautiful.  What's not to love?






3. Amusement Parks like Six Flags and Great America

We are again season pass holders for both amusement parks, so I plan to get our money's worth!  That's right.  A new dolphin show?  Gotta see that.  An easy, fun day for the kids?  Oh, ya.  I'm there.  Great America - rides and a waterpark?  Sign me up for that.  Yes. Yes. Yes.


4. San Francisco
Specifically, I'd like to take back to Land's End Trail.  I'd also like to spend another day riding a cable car, walking around Fisherman's Wharf, and going back to the California Academy of Sciences.  I'd also like to check out the Cable Car Museum.  I haven't been there since I was in elementary school!

5. Chabot Space and Science Museum
I've never been here and I've always wanted to check it out - just to see what's there and what it has to offer.

6. Coyote Point Park -

My son loves parks - and what kid doesn't want to play in a castle with a dragon?  How cool is that?  I've known about this park for years, but I haven't ever been there.  I better hurry up before he gets "too old" for playing in parks. HAHA.





So, here are the six off the top of my head.  Obviously, I'm open to suggestions, so let me know if you have any places I should add to my list!

Considering this is my first try making a list and I already have six, I'm guessing I should probably NOT sign up the kids for camp.

Not so great at the blogging thing...

Wow.  Really?  February?

Honestly, I had forgotten I had this blog.  hahaha.

Life has been treating me well.  I've still been living the "healthy lifestyle" and trying to gain more muscle and lose more fat.  It has been a slow progression, but that's just how it is.  I'm just happy to be down the weight.

Summer was awesome - when is it never awesome.  Sadly, it is always never long enough, too.

Started back at work and I have to say this: I am so very blessed to still love my job after 12 years.  Woot.

I suppose I shouldn't really spend a lot of time blogging here right now, seeing as I should really be going to sleep.

So, off I go.  I just wanted to type SOMETHING so another year didn't pass before I posted an entry. HA!

What a difference a few months can make!

Has it really been almost a year since I last blogged?  I still find it amazing that I once invested the time into blogging.  Don't get me wrong.  I loved it at the time.  I blogged almost daily - not on this site - and enjoyed the interactive commenting from readers. 

...and then I stopped blogging altogether, but I have run into a few people who were surprised with where I have been - or what I have been doing - in the last year.  So, I thought maybe a blog entry was due.

Last summer, sometime in July, I decided that I needed a lifestyle change.  I just wasn't happy.  Wait.  I take that blanket statement back.  I wasn't completely happy.  Sure, I loved my work.  Yes, I was blessed with a wonderful husband, two fabulous kids, supportive family and friends, and a little place I call home.  What more could a girl ask for?

Honestly, there was one aspect in my life that had been bugging me for years - yes, years.  I was fat.  I'm not saying this to get compliments or to hear, "NO. You weren't fat."  This is the truth: I was fat, medically fat.  At my annual physical in 2007, my doctor told me that I should probably lose about 10 lbs. - eat healthy and exercise - in order to get my cholesterol under control, or plan to go on cholesterol meds in the near future.

Being the person that I am, I agreed with him, drove home, and proceeded to live in denial:  I then gained 20 lbs.

What the...?

Yes, that's right.  Over the course of the next few years, I proceeded to get more unhealthy, if that was even possible  Truth be told, I had several health issues prior to gaining more weight: severe sleep apnea, fatigue, insomnia.  It was bad. I was bad.  And it went from bad to worse when I gained the additional 20 lbs.

However, barring one failed diet in high school I did with my mom (a 3-day diet where we ate particular foods in order to lose 5 lbs. based on some mumbo jumbo food chemistry), I had never been one to diet - and I still don't believe in diets as a whole.  To me, the problem with a diet is that it is, in effect, temporary.  People will say they need to go on a diet and then they either go off the diet or finish the diet when goal weight is achieved.  Plus, the idea that people had to restrict themselves to a certain amount of food and only certain types seemed unrealistic to me.  That was never going to fly with me.

So, I opted to overhaul my lifestyle.  Last July, I decided enough was enough.  I started by tracking my foods on a phone app called myfitnesspal.  (It also is available online - synched and available for free.)  That app helped me change my habits.  I realized that I was eating way too much crap foods.  Yea, yea.  We all know that.  And while I admit that I knew that, too, I didn't realize the extent of how horrible my eating habits were.  Logging said food was eye-opening.


The first couple weeks were rough.  After years of eating, by my guesstimation, 2000-3000 calories a day, dropping down to 1400-1700 calories a day seemed impossible.  I learned quickly that if I worked out, I would be "granted" exercise calories.  Meaning, I could then eat 2000 calories a day still, if I worked out.

I didn't want to work out at first - and I only did so because I wanted to eat more.  The little, baby 15 minute workouts turned into 60-90 minute sessions on the elliptical trainer.  Burning the calories allowed me to eat more. 

This awareness made me a tad obsessed.  I logged in my food daily.  I never wanted to go over my calorie goal - because then it would be red, which meant failure to me.  Couldn't have that now, could I?  Also, I started researching more about healthy foods and exercises; I made better food choices and implemented a workout regimen.  The elliptical trainer was easy.  Shortly after I started working out 45-60 minutes on it, I added in a kettlebell workout routine - first with a measly 4 lb. weight, then a 7 lb. weight; My 10 lb. weight just arrived in the mail today.

I've eased up a little in the last few weeks.  If I go over my calorie goal for the day, it's not a disaster.  I don't hop on the elliptical late at night to burn off the overage.  And I don't work out 7 days a week like I did for months.  I'm trying to be a little less obsessed and wean myself off the insane workout schedule I had followed, but I still do work out 4-5 days a week: elliptical trainer mixed with kettlebells are the norm; taekwondo classes, occasional fitness DVDs, and fitness classes at the gym can substitute the elliptical trainer sessions in order to change it up!

It has been over 6 months since I started this healthy lifestyle - and I haven't felt this great since college.  I feel better and I have more energy.  Overall, I'm less tired (unless I idiotically pull an all-nighter) and I feel happier.  I guess that's what losing 30+ lbs. does to a person.

That's right - 33 freakin' lbs. to be exact.  If I can lose 5 more, awesome.  If I can't, I'm okay with that, too.

So, doc...I'm ready for my check-up.  I'm down to the weight he had suggested about 5 years ago. How ya like them apples?

Just to show you I'm not making this up, here's a photo from October 2010 and then from last November 2011 (after losing 20 or so lbs.)  I've lost 10 lbs. since the last photo, but you get the idea.)