Got Allowance?

Growing up, my mother gave me $5.00 a week to do my chores, which included vacuuming and dusting our home once a week, which happened to be a 3rd floor flat. This meant, there were something like 30-50 stairs in addition to the two bedrooms, living room, and family room, that all had to be vacuumed. I also had to take care of the dishes (though I don't think this was all the time) as well as clean my room.

If I remember correctly, and I could be wrong (since I'm getting "up there" in age), I was 10 when this arrangement started. I never got a raise, but then again, I'm not even sure how consistent I was with my chores.


Regardless of that, I do believe it helped me learn the importance of saving. When I was 12, I started babysitting and earned an additional $5.00 for the week. So, my mother also took me to the bank and opened a "kid" account with me, so I could put money into my savings. I was so proud when it got to $200.


My daughter turns 11 next month and I want her to feel that pride of knowing she can save enough money to buy something important. I want her to learn the importance of saving, not the art of begging.   Up to this point, we have been massively failing in this regard.


I admit it. We spoil our children, not rotten, but to a degree we probably shouldn't. The other month, my husband bought our son a cheap $10 train set at the grocery store because our son was crying for it. When I went after-Christmas shopping for some work clothes, I picked up several puzzles for my son and a few outfits for my daughter. Why? Because I thought they'd like it. Yes, they were on sale, but did they *need* it? Most definitely not. We have just been in the habit of buying them stuff if it felt like it "had been awhile" since they last got something new. Clearly, we shouldn't do this and quite honestly, we can't afford it right now.


So, we started an allowance system. My daughter earns $5.00/week:

• 
  
  40% ($2.25) comes to her in cash and can be spent immediately or saved as she wishes
• 
  
  40% ($2.25) goes into a "long-term" savings, which she can use to save up for larger items (that would cost over $25) and we would match it
• 
  
  10% (50 cents) gets donated to an agency of her choice: Humane Society, the little girl we sponsor in Africa, church, or wherever else she chooses.

I found this "system" online while searching for "do-able" ways to start a child's allowance.  Allowance is based on child's age in half and paid either weekly or monthly, depending on family's financial situation.  While I'd like to just give her $5.00 a month, I'm not sure that's realistic for us.  And like I said, my goal is to help her learn about the benefits of saving money, rather than spending all the time. I also want to try to curb my husband's and my impulse buys regarding the kids.  Even though "it's only" $5 or $20 or $30, those little purchases do add up!

Ten Things About Me

1. I have been married for over 12 years to the love of my life, together for over 18 years. I cannot believe how fortunate I was to have met him when I did and how fortunate I am that we are still together now. On top of that, I feel incredibly blessed that we still love one another after all these years. Who would have thought I could be happily married? Not me. (see point 2)

2. I am a mother of two wonderful children and I cannot imagine my life without them. They bring me joy (and yes, often frustration, too) every single day. The odd thing about the fact that I am a mother is that, growing up, I never thought I was going to have kids, simply because I never thought I was going to get married; being a child of divorced parents sometimes does that, I think.

3. I was born and raised in San Francisco, and though I haven't lived in "the city" for decades, I still feel like a native and I miss living there. I miss the MUNI - how easily one could travel from place to place; I miss sitting in the Presidio watching the waves roll in; I miss seeing my mother on a regular basis; I even miss the fog. I do admit that I don't miss the lack of parking. :)

4. I happened upon my career as a lecturer by chance, which proves that sometimes you just have to try things and see where you land. I knew I didn't want to work at my previous place of employment, started networking about other opportunities, and was offered this job - a job I had not originally envisioned but a dream job, nonetheless.

5. I am allergic to animals - and that makes me REALLY sad. What is frustrating about it is that I wasn't always allergic to animals. As a child, I had several dogs in my life...and was often around cats. Unfortunately, around the age of 12, life took a turn and I became allergic to animal dander. It sucks and I hate it.

6. I have always been adventurous and will strive to stay this way until the day I die. As a child, I convinced the neighborhood kids to climb rooftops with me - San Francisco rooftops, which often meant several stories tall apartment buildings. Now, I make safer choices, preferring to do things that have safety precautions - things like harnesses and parachutes. To date, I have gone skydiving, ziplining, and mechanical bull-riding, to name a few.

7. I don't fear death. I definitely once did fear it, but now? Not so much. While I don't hope to die, mind you, I just think that when it's a person's time, it is his or her time. I don't want to live in fear of death. I just try to live each day like it's my last.

8. I may not be afraid of death, but I sure am afraid of scary movies. I can't watch them. I still have flashbacks of movies I have either seen many years ago (like "Carrie") or even just movie snippets ("The Sixth Sense"). The other night, my husband was playing a scary videogame and I was in the other room; I made him turn the volume down. Yes, I am THAT much of a fraidy cat. So there!

9. It took me a LONG time to learn to share, probably because I'm an only child whose parents divorced when I was young. I didn't often have to share and it showed. I had issues with people touching my stuff, much less borrowing it. College was a rude awakening. Sharing a room with someone? Was that a joke? ;)

10. I am the queen of procrastination. One would think as a person gets older, she would become more responsible and do things immediately, rather than waiting until the last moment. In my case, thinking would be wrong. I have been known to pull all-nighters to get work done. As much as I love my job - the teaching part - I hate to grade and often put it off until the last possible moment. I'm getting better, but I'm still a work in progress.

I Just Don't Understand

Last night I was watching a Lifetime movie, which was based on the real news story about the Pregnancy Pact article. I realize that this story is almost 2 years old, but I must have missed it. Or maybe I just couldn't believe it and blocked it out.

Seriously? Why would a high school student WANT to have a child so young? When I was 15 years old, I think my biggest concern was whether or not I could get the basketball star to like me. What else? Oh, my other concerns consisted of going to my part-time job to make spending money to pay for my phone and new clothes and hoping my mother would NOT nag me to death.

I'm not sure why there are so many teens having children now, but I just don't understand why our society thinks this is okay. Why are there shows like 16 and Pregnant? Why does it seem like we're glamorizing it? Yes, babies are cute. We love babies, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't show high school students there is more to life than just having babies. What about other dreams and goals? What about a future for themselves?

In that article, it talks about how the school provided daycare so the teen mothers could finish high school. I'm not saying there shouldn't be support services in place, but why were there only post-baby services? Why did this community think it was not okay to offer more preventative methods but okay to provide childcare services? It's almost like encouraging kids to have children: "Look. We've set it up for you! Have your baby, finish school, we'll take care of your baby in class."

Mind-boggling. And what's with all the movies and TV shows highlighting teen moms - like 16 and Pregnant. I've never watched 16 and Pregnant and I don't want to. Even if the point of the show is to show how hard it is, showing a child having a child? I don't think this will necessarily scare any girls from having children. They'll still think, "Oh, that won't happen to me. loves me. We'll be happy." Instead of these types of shows, wouldn't it be better to show more inspiring outcomes?

I'm just baffled. And a little horrified. While I'm not saying teen moms should be shot or anything like that, I'm just wondering why we don't do something to SOLVE the issue, not put a band-aid on it.

How disheartening. I'm afraid for my daughter....and maybe even me.

Displays of Affection

I bought my husband a Valentine's Day card. I know, big deal, right? Well, to be honest, I'm not all that fabulous about getting cards for my husband. Sometimes I just don't. Why? Because I figure he doesn't really care either way. (Maybe he does, but I don't think so.)  Mind you, he *has* to get me a card...or I'll be pissed. Double standard? Hell yes. So be it.

But that's about all I expect.  I've never been a big romantic.  I don't like grand gestures.  In fact, one of my male friends was telling me how he was planning to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day with either participating in some huge Pillow Fight (http://www.pillowfight.info/) or having some romantic restaurant dinner with flowers, chocolates, etc.

Barf.

I know.  I'm horrible.  Maybe it's the Virgo practicality in me, but the idea of all that makes me laugh - and not in a good way.  For me, I find it's the little things that I appreciate: asking me if I'd like an iced tea (he makes the best iced tea), cooking a fantastic meal, letting me sleep in while he takes the kids to school.  And think about it - these are things he does on a regular basis, rather than one huge gesture on Valentine's Day and/or my birthday.

Anyhow, as I was saying, I found the perfect card to tell him how I feel about him...it's cheesy and overly lovey-dovey, but it really does say how I feel. Isn't that what Hallmark is all about?

The card says..

for my WONDERFUL HUSBAND on Valentine's Day

I love being married to you,
You are the rock of my life.
Of all the decisions that I ever made,
the best one is being your wife.

I love coming home to your smile,
your strong arms around me in bed...
My deepest delight is belonging to you,
with our dreams for a lifetime ahead.

Whenever I saw the word "husband,"
I'm thankful all over again
I'm blessed with the gift of a lifetime --
the sweetest, most loving of men.

You made me the happiest woman
the day that I promised "I do,"
and my heart is completely devoted
to spending forever with you.

Happy Valentine's Day
with all my love.

We have been married for over 12 years. And while some years were more challenging than others, I am incredibly thankful that I was fortunate enough to meet my husband when I did - and blessed that we still love one another after all these years. It helps that he's nice to look at, too - at least I think so.

No Wonder Men Think We're Crazy!!!

On my morning radio show, the DJs took a question for some of their listeners:

--------My best friend and I both already purchased wedding dresses. Neither of us are engaged. We don't have boyfriends, either. Do you think this is crazy?---------

WTF? Really? No wonder some men are afraid of women, getting trapped or tied down. I never understood when my male friends would talk about how women were trying to trap them. Um, what? Who are these women?

The majority of my female friends and I were never like that, never rushing into relationships. I do admit knowing a few "crazy" women like this, those planning their weddings and their married lives without even being in a relationship. Meanwhile, my plans had included working on a cruise ship as Activities Director, flirting with the cute, male passengers and traveling around the world.

I guess we all have our girlhood dreams. HA!

Do most of the females you know plan their wedding THIS far in advance? When should a woman buy a dress?

2009 in perspective

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I started taking Tae Kwon Do classes.

2. What's your most memorable moment in your year?
Looking at glaciers. It's one thing to see it on tv. It's a whole new thing to see ice in the water, especially if you're used to sunny days most of the year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my best friends had a baby boy - my godson. Aaaaw.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What states did you visit?
Alaska. Woot!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
I can't really say that we lacked this year. Sure, my husband was laid off for a couple months. Sure, money is tight, but we have our health and our family. Oh, that reminds me. If I could, I'd like to request NO vertigo episodes this year. Now THAT would be awesome.

7. What moments from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
On a positive note, spending 10 days on a luxurious cruise with my family has to be one of the best memories! From those 10 days came lots of wonderful moments: seeing the Mendenhall Glacier, celebrating my mom's 60th birthday, and ziplining in the rain.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hmmm...how do you measure achievement? Nothing really stands out - just that I try to live each day as though as it's my last. Some days I didn't do such a great job, but overall, I think I did well.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing my temper. I've had it under control for several years, but I lost it once this year...really badly.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Sure. Sadly, I had two vertigo episodes and then learned I suffer from sleep apnea. This, of course, explained why I was so exhausted all the time.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A cruise vacation. Oh, you mean...an object? Lemme get back to you.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughter. After hearing how she isn't good at sports (from her) and saying, "Nah. I don't like it," she stepped out of her comfort zone, signed up for volleyball and, if I do say so myself, got to be a pretty darn good player, going for the ball and bumping it. Not only that, but she also decided to try her hand at basketball!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No comment. Why drudge up the negative again?

14. Where did most of your money go?
Hands down - bills. Like anyone else, the economy is kicking our butts.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Ziplining with Ken

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
:shrug: None. I don't remember songs for each year very well.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? Happier
b) Thinner or fatter? Fatter
c) Richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sleeping that included REM sleep. HA.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time online.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I have been fortunate enough to still be in love...after 18 years, that's a big deal. Then again, maybe it's more of a big deal that HE is still in love with me after all these years. HAHAHA. Maybe he needs a medal or a beer. HAHAHA.

22. How many one-night stands?
Please. That's a zero...haven't had one of those in.....um...ever in my whole life.

23. What were your favorite TV programs?
Survivor: Samoa, Cold Case, CSI: NY, Project Runway

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. I don't hate people. It's not worth my energy. Annoyed? Well, I am human...but I'm working on trying to let it all go!

25. What was the best book you read this year?
Shanghai Sisters by Lisa See

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
:shrug:

27. What did you want and get?
Spend quality time with the family. The downside of my husband getting laid off was obviously financial issues, but the upside is that we got to spend a lot of time together as a family for a couple months. :)

28. What did you want and not get?
Thinner...but clearly that is because I spent too much time baking blondies, building gingerbread houses, and eating them all. HAHA.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really liked The Proposal and The Blind Side. Yes, I'm a Sandra Bullock fan.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 39...and was coming back from the cruise. Basically, I spent my birthday week being pampered and eating lots of food. Oh, that could be another reason for #28. Ha!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Can't think of anything really...I try to look on the positive side of things and I think, overall, it's been a great year.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Lazy...casual...comfortable. Yoga pants are my best friend, even though I don't do yoga. HAHAHAHAHA

33. What kept you sane?
My kids...though they also drive me crazy. Go figure.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Honestly, I haven't been that "up" with celebrities. I pretty much Tivo my programs and ignore the hoopla.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Clearly it's the CA budget crisis. It's affecting my workplace, my students, and my personal budget.

36. Who did you miss?
I missed my father-in-law. I spent a good deal of time with my mother-in-law the past year, taking her on errands and visiting. And while I enjoy spending time with her, being at her house makes me miss him even more. I miss his typing on the keyboard; hearing his stories about "the wife," as he lovingly called her; and his laughter when he found something funny, either on TV or while hanging out with the grandkids.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
YOU! haha.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Sometimes it's best to just go to the doctor to find out what the problem is, rather than thinking it's just nothing.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
What is with this whole song/music thing. I suck at this.

40. Do you think 2010 will be a better year for you?
Why wouldn't it be?

Trash or Treasure?

"I find a lot of good stuff on the side of the road. You'd be surprised what some people throw away." - Augustine, 68 years, on Hoarders

I was watching this show called Hoarders the other day and was completely disturbed by it.  I realize that it's a disorder of some kind - to keep so much stuff that you can't walk around in a house - but I was appalled.  Some woman had two dead cats in her house  She had thought the cats had ran away, but they had been dead for years so they were in like freeze-dried condition.  As a child, her son had heard cockroaches crawling at night and had to sleep with a fan directed at him in order to keep the roaches off him; he had been removed from the home and never returned.  The bathroom ceiling was falling down onto the inoperable toilet with feces in it.  There was no water and the city was threatening to condemn the property.

I'm sorry, but really?  R E A L L Y???

Who are these people?  How does one get this far into filth and not notice it?  Is it a slow process?  Does it start with small clutter and then turn into packed tooms and overstuffed closets?

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised.  I often put things on our street marked "free" just to see what will happen.  Seriously?  A highchair, clothing, carseat, bouncer, and toys all disappeared within hours.  While most of the things were in good condition, I think some was questionable. A carseat?   
 
But I guess, as they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure.  If my husband has any say in it, everyone else's trash will be our trash, too!  
 
On that note, I should get ready to clear out more things.